Grandpa Joe

"A grandpa is someone you never outgrow your need for.."

I'll miss you, Grandpa.

I'll miss your jokes and your pull-a-quarter-from-my-ear tricks.

I'll miss the way you added sugar to everything, even juice.

I'll miss your bow ties.

I'll miss you.

♥♥♥

Frogs and snails and puppy-dogs' tails

Nathan just told me, 
"When I'm going potty and I get pee on my hand, I just wipe it on my leg until it disappears."
Now that's something you'd never hear a girl say...

Seven-Going-On-Seventeen...

So Natalie already has a crush on a boy. I know, you're thinking it's about 15 years too early, right? Yeah, me too. 

When did my tiny baby turn into a boy-liking, fashion-conscious mini-teenager who's too old for princesses and doesn't want me walking her to class anymore??

 

So this is how it went tonight:

Natalie: "There's a boy I like..."
Me: *immediate panic attack renders me speechless*
Greg: "Does he have his ear pierced?"
Natalie: "No."
Greg: "Is he a vegetarian?"
Natalie: "Well, he eats candy..."
Greg: "Does he like Star Wars? Because if a 7 year old boy doesn't like Star Wars there's something wrong with him."
Natalie: "He likes Star Wars. And comic books."
Me: "Well, let me tell you what it's like to be a comic widow..."

***********************

A few minutes later....

Natalie: "My friend told a boy she liked him the other day..."
Me: "Well, do you think you're going to tell this boy you like him?"
Natalie: *giggling* "No way, that's too embarrassing. I'll wait til we're in college."
Me: *immediate relief renders me speechless*
Natalie: "I hope we have lots of classes together in college..."

Ahhh, so maybe I still have a few years with my baby after all.

Almost a compliment...

Well, I thought I was going to escape the yearly birthday insult from Natalie, but no such luck...

Natalie: "Happy Birthday Mom! You're special in 32 ways!"
Me: "No, 33 ways."
(long pause)
Natalie: "Oh. 33? You really are old."

And if that wasn't enough, Nathan has joined in. Monkey see, monkey do, I suppose...

Nathan: "Happy Birthday, Mom! You're getting reeeeaaaallllly old, right?"
Me: "How old do you think I am?"
Nathan: "I don't know. Old."
Me: "Just guess. How old do you think I am?"
Nathan: "Hmmm... Like 12?"

So, two almost-compliments, two-half insults and the day is still young. Unlike me.

Who doesn't love a good birthday insult from their firstborn?

September 21, 2009: "Happy Birthday, Mom! Are you going to die soon? Are you going to walk with a cane soon? Mom, when are you going to have puffy white hair? Mom, how many years 'til you're 90?"

September 21, 2010: "Happy Birthday, Mom! You don't look THAT much older this year..."

I can't wait to see what loving comment she has for me tomorrow...

If Abraham Lincoln had a stalker...

Natalie was picked out of 25 fame-hungry five-year olds to be Abraham Lincoln in her kindergarten parade. That's where the obsession started...

You'd think someone with such an obsession would have a better handle on what he looks like...

• She saw a picture of Charlie Sheen online and said, "Hey, look! It's Abraham Lincoln! It's not? Well, it must be his brother then."

• Then she saw President Obama on TV and said, "Hey, look! It's Abraham Lincoln! It's not? Well, it must be his brother then." 

...and a better idea of how to spell his name...

...and perhaps a better grasp of how long ago he died (or how old I am?)...

After reading a biography of Abraham Lincoln with her, I told her I had been at Ford's Theater when I was a kid. She said, "So you were there when he was shot?!" Yes. I witnessed the assassination of President Lincoln 146 years ago.

But last year, after hearing this monologue...

"We don't have a president, all the presidents are dead. What? We do? Who is he, what's his name? I thought all the presidents were dead. Abraham Lincoln is dead. Will I be president? How much will it cost me?"

...at least we know who we'll be voting for in 2040.

Dinner request or ransom note? You decide...

As soon as Natalie learned to write, she started passing us notes. Over the years I've compiled quite a collection, but this one -- her very first note, written when she was five -- is my favorite by far. She slipped it to me while I was making dinner one night. I was expecting a ransom demand to follow.