Monday, March 19, 2012

What did Justin Bieber ever do to you?

It appears that my family has an unreasonable amount of hostility towards a certain teen idol...

Exhibit A:
Nathan: "I don't like Justin Bieber."
Natalie: "No one likes Justin Bieber."
Nathan: "I bet Jesus likes Justin Bieber."
Natalie: "Well, Jesus likes everyone so that doesn't count..."

Exhibit B:
Greg: "Somehow Justin Bieber is going to find a way to ruin my Christmas."

Exhibit C:
Natalie: "Justin Bieber is a punching maniac."
Me: "What does that mean??"
Natalie: "He punches a lot of his fans."
Me: "Where'd you hear that?"
Natalie: "Oh mom, everyone knows that. He should be in jail, really."
Nathan: "...Wait, I thought Justin Bieber wasn't a real person. Fake people can't go to jail..."

Maybe they're on to something. 
Come to think of it, his dumb hair DOES make me want to lash out irrationally. 
And he kind of looks like a girl. 
And his clothes are stupid. (Fingerless mittens, Justin? Really?)

Oh yeah, wait... what did Justin Bieber ever do to me?

Friday, December 9, 2011

Ruth E. Cole
August 5th, 1930 - December 8th 2011
"Distance never separates two hearts that really care, for our memories span the miles and in seconds we are there. But whenever I start feeling sad, because I miss you, I remind myself how lucky I am to have someone so special to miss." -Unknown

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

You've Got a Friend in Me...

We gave Nathan this stuffed Spider Man for Christmas 2007, his first Christmas.
We bought it because it was cute and it was a superhero...Greg's requirements for all of Nathan's gifts that year.   
Little did we know, Spider Man would become Nathan's bff. His trusty companion. The security object that he can't live, breathe, eat or sleep without.
I keep as close an eye on Spidey as I do on Natalie and Nathan because losing him would be a tragedy. Like a call-the-police-and-issue-a-missing-Spidey-report kind of tragedy.
Just last week Nathan told Greg "I love Spidey more than you." He tried to take it back, but we all know the truth. If there are ever any life or death choices involving one of us vs. Spidey, we're goners.
I don't even want to know how dirty poor Spidey is. He's been used as a napkin, a blanket and a step stool. He's been on every floor, in every shopping cart and dropped under every table in every McDonalds from here to Nampa to San Diego to Ames to Phoenix to Tucson and back again. Being a raging germaphobe, I've just had to come to terms with the fact that the fifth member of our family is a walking disease. 
But come to think of it, that's probably not that different from members three and four...

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Grandpa Joe

"A grandpa is someone you never outgrow your need for.."

I'll miss you, Grandpa.
I'll miss your jokes and your pull-a-quarter-from-my-ear tricks.
I'll miss the way you added sugar to everything, even juice.
I'll miss your bow ties.
I'll miss you.

Monday, October 17, 2011

Frogs and snails and puppy-dogs' tails

Nathan just told me, 
"When I'm going potty and I get pee on my hand, I just wipe it on my leg until it disappears."
Now that's something you'd never hear a girl say...

Monday, October 3, 2011


So Natalie already has a crush on a boy. I know, you're thinking it's about 15 years too early, right? Yeah, me too. 

When did my tiny baby turn into a boy-liking, fashion-conscious mini-teenager who's too old for princesses and doesn't want me walking her to class anymore??


So this is how it went tonight:

Natalie: "There's a boy I like..."
Me: *immediate panic attack renders me speechless*
Greg: "Does he have his ear pierced?"
Natalie: "No."
Greg: "Is he a vegetarian?"
Natalie: "Well, he eats candy..."
Greg: "Does he like Star Wars? Because if a 7 year old boy doesn't like Star Wars there's something wrong with him."
Natalie: "He likes Star Wars. And comic books."
Me: "Well, let me tell you what it's like to be a comic widow..."


A few minutes later....

Natalie: "My friend told a boy she liked him the other day..."
Me: "Well, do you think you're going to tell this boy you like him?"
Natalie: *giggling* "No way, that's too embarrassing. I'll wait til we're in college."
Me: *immediate relief renders me speechless*
Natalie: "I hope we have lots of classes together in college..."

Ahhh, so maybe I still have a few years with my baby after all.

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Almost a compliment...

Well, I thought I was going to escape the yearly birthday insult from Natalie, but no such luck...

Natalie: "Happy Birthday Mom! You're special in 32 ways!"
Me: "No, 33 ways."
(long pause)
Natalie: "Oh. 33? You really are old."

And if that wasn't enough, Nathan has joined in. Monkey see, monkey do, I suppose...

Nathan: "Happy Birthday, Mom! You're getting reeeeaaaallllly old, right?"
Me: "How old do you think I am?"
Nathan: "I don't know. Old."
Me: "Just guess. How old do you think I am?"
Nathan: "Hmmm... Like 12?"

So, two almost-compliments, two-half insults and the day is still young. Unlike me.