If Abraham Lincoln had a stalker...

Natalie was picked out of 25 fame-hungry five-year olds to be Abraham Lincoln in her kindergarten parade. That's where the obsession started...

You'd think someone with such an obsession would have a better handle on what he looks like...

• She saw a picture of Charlie Sheen online and said, "Hey, look! It's Abraham Lincoln! It's not? Well, it must be his brother then."

• Then she saw President Obama on TV and said, "Hey, look! It's Abraham Lincoln! It's not? Well, it must be his brother then." 

...and a better idea of how to spell his name...

...and perhaps a better grasp of how long ago he died (or how old I am?)...

After reading a biography of Abraham Lincoln with her, I told her I had been at Ford's Theater when I was a kid. She said, "So you were there when he was shot?!" Yes. I witnessed the assassination of President Lincoln 146 years ago.

But last year, after hearing this monologue...

"We don't have a president, all the presidents are dead. What? We do? Who is he, what's his name? I thought all the presidents were dead. Abraham Lincoln is dead. Will I be president? How much will it cost me?"

...at least we know who we'll be voting for in 2040.